The Book

It’s all Grace: Surviving My Husband’s Suicide to Sparkling Like a Sapphire in the Sun

Coming Soon

It’s all Grace: Surviving My Husband’s Suicide to Sparkling Like a Sapphire in the Sun

The book I wrote is a journey into the center of suicide and its devastating aftermath and how I was able get through it, but most importantly find that life is magnificent again. So few people talk about or fully understand suicide. There are some resources for survivors—for those who were left behind after someone made the ultimate choice to end their own life. I found solace and ultimately healing in my faith my sobriety, my spiritual practice, my friends, my family, and the deep and abiding knowing that if I took one day at a time, I would live to experience and embrace another day. My intention is for those who read this book will deepen their compassion, understanding, and come to know that even in our darkest hour, there is hope—and yes, grace. Even the worst, most unimaginable things are grace. It’s all grace.

-Kimberly

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Nils

About the book

— SYNOPSIS —

A beautiful soul

Kimberly Nilsson thought she had it all. She was sober. She was thriving. She had met the man of her dreams—a loving, funny, brilliant, successful, gorgeous man—who whisked her away to his beautiful lifestyle in Switzerland. They spent part of their time stateside in his condominium overlooking Central Park in The Plaza Residences in New York City. They traveled the world together. He took her to mountain tops, and together they saw a wonderful future for them and his kids. When he asked her to marry him, she felt like Cinderella. And for the first time in her life, Kimberly believed fairy tales really do come true. It really didn’t matter what they did or where they did it. They were best friends. They loved their life together. She loved his children. They were a family. But, in an instant—one brutal instant—the fairy tale turned into a seemingly endless nightmare.

Nils and Kimberly

Wedding Day in Central Park, New York.

She came home one day to find the love of her life, her heart, her world—hanging from a rafter in their carport. What followed is the stuff nightmares are made of—she watched as her husband clung to life on machines in HUG Hospital in Geneva, Switzerland. She had to bear witness (over and over again) about what she saw, and the worst thing of all, she had to watch as his children grieved their father and come to terms that he was never coming home again. She thought the day her husband completed suicide was the worst day of her life. But, she had no way of knowing how that day would extend to weeks and then years as she grappled with the truth behind his death—the addiction he struggled with, the secrets he held, the financial challenges he was facing, and the lives he affected in his wake. Before she knew it, she, too, had descended into a hell of her own—a black abyss of pain and suffering—an endless grief that knew no bounds.

It’s All Grace: From Surviving a Suicide to Sparkling Like a Sapphire in the Sun is a book about how she was able to surrender to all that she was powerless to control—her past, her husband’s death, and the real-life demons that made her life a living hell—and ultimately how she survived and thrived after suicide. More importantly, how she arrived to a place of not only healing, but of flourishing, and has found peace and joy again.

Testimonials

“Kimberly’s message is one of deep honesty that allows us to look at our life from a REFRESHINGLY honest perspective…”

Selected testimonials for Kimberly & It’s All Grace

  • "This I know from my own family’s experience: Losing someone we love to suicide is unbearable. Kimberly chronicles her journey from the shock and horror of her beloved husband’s suicide to the radiant grace, sobriety, and new love she has found today. Kimberly’s honest and compassionate generosity suffuse the story of how she healed her broken heart - with the help of friends, 12-Step, meditation and prayer. Her willingness to about what it was like to be utterly lost in layers of misfortune and pain will inspire countless others to trust that they, too, can recover -and transform their suffering into wisdom, compassion, and grace."

    -Trudy Goodman, Ph.D.
    Founding Teacher, InsightLA

  • "From birth to death, life is a series of choices. Even in the most dire and devastating of circumstances, we can ask ourselves "What can I do right now to develop spiritually?" Within these pages Kimberly Nilsson offers a remarkably candid and sensitive account of the devastation of her husband's suicide and her many choices leading to healing, peace and spiritual development. Such a powerful example of how dedication to sobriety and the determination to use every situation for growth has the potential to inspire and encourage many people to choose a path of healing, recovery and spiritual development."

    -Santussika Bhikkhuni
    Karuna Buddhist Vihara

  • "Kimberly is one of those rare people you find in life, where life has thrown the book at her, she has caught the book, read it and turned all the experiences into a positive outlook and understanding. Where most would crumble and be afraid of living and expressing all they have been through she candidly looks at herself and stands tall and strong with love. Sincere to core after everything she has been through, her message in the book is one of deep honesty that allows us to look at our life from a new honest perspective."

    -GARETH VAN NOTTEN
    MANAGING DIRECTORBHAJAN CAFÉ INTERNATIONALSHREE PEETHA NILAYA ASHRAM

  • "I met Kimberly a few months after her husband committed suicide. I had never known anyone personally who had gone through this tragedy, but I came to know her intimately. I was honored to watch and witness a woman devastated, who was willing to walk through the fire of her grief, with transparency, sincerity, ferocity and gentleness. No matter what was coming up, she never shrank or retreated. Her heart and capacity to love was, and is enormous. But what came about as a result of such a holy courage, was akin to a transformation from shadow, to luminescence. Kimberly radiates the beautiful light of her life and experience to everyone she comes into contact with."

    -Cynthia Spillman
    Artist

  • "Kimberly Nilsson takes us through a powerful and cathartic journey from personal loss to anger at the world. And from the frantic search for who to pin the blame on to the point of total collapse at the edge of the abyss. From here, she is faced with the only inevitable choice — death or surrender. Death under the crushing weight of defeat or the surrender of herself into the loving arms of divine grace. Although she struggles she nonetheless keeps moving forward. And she discovers that helping and assisting others tends to free the mind from the grieving self. And that service is a sacred act that has its own merit. No doubt there are thousands of people who can intimately relate to Ms Nilsson’s compelling journey from loss to recovery, from darkness into light."

    -Drew Lawrence
    Author

  • "Kimberly’s commitment to raising awareness about the dangers of addiction and the aftermath of a loved one's suicide is nothing short of inspiring. She is the real deal. She has been to hell and back, all the while doing necessary and hard work to heal. Her book is both a profound testimony and a guide to help others heal, survive and thrive after losing a loved one to suicide.”

    -Mary Curran Hackett
    Author of Proof of Heaven and Proof of Angels, and blogger and activist for mental health and suicide awareness

  • "Kimberly is one of those rare spiritual souls a traveler may be fortunate enough to meet and walk with for a while along their own path. She understands the redemptive value of suffering as an invitation to growth and love - the alchemy of transforming the deeply painful into gold."

    -MARK REIS, MD
    Orthopedic Surgeon

  • "A wise and heartfelt journey from the depths of addiction, suicide and grief to healing and freedom from suffering. Many spiritual gems on this path await the reader."

    -Dale Borglum
    Living/Dying Project

  • "Kimberly is a compassionate and empathetic human that has shared her wisdom and strength with me and many like me. Our friendship over the years has provided me with much relief from life’s many difficult turns."

    -Pat Womack
    Veterans Counselor

  • "Simply spending time with Kimberly Nilsson is spiritually elevating! She exudes a tremendous soul-light, and the love she shares with humanity is palpable in her presence. It is a JOY to know her!"

    -Charlotte Spradley
    Entrepreneur